a very long post on very big changes

Life would be boring without change - especially MY life. Lately almost every single day brings something new or unexpected, and I’ve come to really appreciate that quality of my life after years of monotony (school, ballet, sleep, school, ballet, sleep). However in the past few days there have been some really significant changes going on, so I’ll share some details:

(editor's warning: this is very long post. If you want a quicker update just look for the bolded stuff)

The first change is a pretty last minute and important one. For those of you who don’t know, I had been planning to become a trainee with the international (based in NYC) ballet company Ajkun Ballet Theater beginning in October. Now, the plan is off.

The back story is that I auditioned for them back in March during the spring audition season and was accepted as a full time trainee. They supposedly rehearsed at a big facility here in the city and toured both locally and a lot internationally. I took the position immediately because it gave me the opportunity to be in a company while still staying here in NYC to finish up college. I didn’t do many other auditions at the time because I was pretty much set on staying here, but I was desperate for some semblance of a plan. I have this incessant need to be in control, and leaving my last year of ballet school with no sense of where I would be dancing in the fall was terrifying. I signed on as a trainee.

The problem with the situation was that I actually had to pay them to be a trainee. In most apprentice/trainee situations the company pays a dancer little to nothing but they receive training for free and transportation costs (etc) when requested on tour. This company is different - it’s actually more of a school-type scenario, and honestly, I’ve been in ballet “school” for far too long for my liking. I’ve gotten everything I can from a strict pre-professional setting, and it is really time for me to move on one way or another.

I stuck with the plan of attending all through the summer, convincing myself that it was what I was working towards while just taking open class for a few months. Since the fall semester started, though, I’ve been growing more and more fond of the freedom that “freelancing” has given me, meaning: 1) I like not feeling as though I HAVE to go to class (though I still go 3 times a day, it’s different when it’s my choice rather than being expected or forced to) 2) I’m able to take advantage of spur of the moment opportunities (and sooo many have cropped up just in the past 3 weeks!) 3) Being my final semester of college, I feel like I owe it to myself to have some sort of flexibility before I graduate and “the rest of my life” starts.

The other problem was that Ajkun Ballet Theater didn’t put up a schedule of rehearsals or performances until just last week, and we’re supposed to start Oct. 9. That was cutting it too close for me, and when I emailed them a couple of times asking if they at least had a performance schedule (because I had other things planned that I didn’t want to conflict) they didn’t answer me! When they finally put up the schedule on the website it was somewhat disappointing. There are very few performances, and most are just with a school upstate. They also have 2 residencies with that school, and I wouldn’t be able to go anyway due to MY schedule at school.

So after a lot of contemplation (and stress, and sleepless nights, and fear of the unknown) I decided it was best if I drop it. It seems like the best thing to do, and I am fully confident in my decision. At this point I’m not sure if I’ll get a refund or how all that will work, but whatever happens I know that what lies ahead will be well worth the choice. For self-justification: I am not a quitter.

What I AM, fortunately and unfortunately, is an overachiever. So in place of dancing with that company I am doing many many many other things.

First off, I am set to do Nutcracker with the Albano Ballet Company in Hartford, CT. Though it’s a heck of a commute (3 hours each way!) it’s a really wonderful performing opportunity at Mohegan Sun, a huge theater in CT. I only go out there to rehearse on Sundays, and so far the choreography is nice and it’s going well. The director is a bit difficult (perhaps an understatement) but I’ve somehow managed to get on his good side. And the best part about it: I get paid. Granted it’s very little compared to the travel time and energy I’m expending, but it’s something. I’m officially a professional dancer. And it’s not even an apprenticeship.

(rehearsal for New Dance Group Teacher's Showcase...I'm on the far right)

Also happening is the New Dance Group Teacher’s Showcase. I think I mentioned this once before, but I’m performing in that on October 5 in a piece by Irene Kent, a teacher at NDG. We’ve been rehearsing for the past few weeks and the piece is coming along nicely. I’m looking forward to that. We may be doing that piece for a benefit show on Oct. 24 (more on that to come).


Outside of dance, my life is just as crazy. School itself is going well, but as the semester moves forward the workload is definitely increasing. On top of that, this week we are closing our second issue of the year of The Monitor, our school paper. Since I’m the Features Editor I have a ton of work ahead of me, editing and proofing stories from my team of about 10 writers, and finishing up my own story about a student who appeared in Seventeen Magazine. I’ll put up links to the issue when it’s available online next week.

More importantly than school is that I’ve been working on getting another internship. As some of you know, I’ve interned with Pointe Magazine and Shelter Interiors Magazine, as well as in 2 public relations places. I really enjoy working at internships (besides the unpaid, free labor aspect) because the experience is so practical: I get to put my education to use and actually see real-life results. I believe internships are the best opportunity anyone can get in college, and to this point with my insane schedule I’ve been limited by time. Now that I’m out of the Ajkun Ballet thing and have my days somewhat free I am able to search for positions more freely and will be able to have significantly more responsibility because I can devote more time to companies.

With that in mind, I sent out a batch of resumes last week while I was contemplating leaving Ajkun. I was very lucky (maybe it’s not all luck…I HAVE worked super hard…) to receive 2 interview requests from the 2 biggest magazine publishers: Conde Nast and Hearst Corporation. Just getting the chance to interview at each was enough validation for me.

I went to both interviews today, and they went really well. Quick & Simple Magazine at Hearst offered me an internship right on the spot. It’s kind of an editorial position in the home department and sounds like a lot of fun. Brides Magazine at Conde Nast emailed me immediately after the interview asking for references, so I’m taking that as a good sign. I’m really excited about both and will be making yet another important decision when I hear from Brides.

Also of interest in the Taylor-as-intern segment of my life is that I spent the past 2 days volunteering at the Folio Show, the magazine industry’s biggest annual conference/seminar. Through the graduate program I’m doing, I got the opportunity to volunteer as a room monitor and be able to sit in on all kinds of lectures and panels regarding the magazine industry. It was sooooo interesting to me, and I can’t even tell you how much I learned in just 2 days! I was surrounded by some of the most important people in the business and the atmosphere was just amazing…keynote speaker lunches, networking…I felt so professional! It was such a wonderful opportunity and I was so glad I was able to take advantage of it at the last minute (an example of why I’m not taking the Ajkun Ballet position).

So in a nutshell (or, not so much) that’s how my life has completely shifted in the past few days. I’ve always been one for planning and goal-setting and everything, but I have since learned that you have to be flexible with your life. It’s been really difficult for me to accept “not knowing” what the future brings, both in dance and in life, but I’ve almost come to terms with that vulnerability. I’m discovering that not having a plan is the best plan of all because I can do what I want, when I want, and in a city like New York with such a fast pace, there is no better way to seize opportunity. I’m finding myself overwhelmed by possibility, but I love that I have choices to make and opportunity abounding.
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If you’ve made it this far down in my post I applaud you…I tend to ramble, but I had to include it all just for my own sake. As you can tell, this blog is going to be changing a bit. My life has been so compartmentalized to this point, with a clear distinction between school and dance. As I’m nearing a turning point, though, everything is meshing into a very gray area and I think it’s important that I find ways to integrate all aspects of my life, and therefore I’ll be incorporating more of my school/work experiences in this blog on top of the ballet-related writing.

This has been a very long-winded post, and I do apologize, but if you have any comments on anything…my decisions, my perspective, (my insanity), I welcome and encourage blog comments! It’s been a hectic couple of weeks and I appreciate any input on anything!