2010: The Year of Highest Highs and Lower Lows

2010. It's the end. The end of another year -- of a decade.

I seem to say this all the time, but it's incredible how much happens in a year -- and how much doesn't. Time fllies. I tend to live a life of extremes, and for me this year has had some of the highest high points and lowest low points of my entire life. I have SO much to be thankful for. So many people to be grateful for.

Back in July I had a full-page story about my dance career in the Sunday New York Times Arts & Leisure section. That was by far the biggest, most exciting thing to happen to me (and to ever happen, probably). Though it added a bit of stress for the first half of the year, being followed by a (wonderful!) reporter and photographer all the time, the end result was incredible. I was SO lucky to have that experience, and I am so thankful for the response I got afterwards from friends and strangers finding my story inspiring.

The only comparable event in my life thus far was dancing in The Radio City Christmas Spectacular, and unfortunately that took a turn for the worse soon after the article. My foot, which had been getting increasingly painful, made me unable to really train for the audition in August. Between not returning to that amazing seasonal job and having to have surgery on my achilles, the rest of my year was a little downhill.

I've had rough patches in years past and every time something better comes out of them. So...that's my outlook for 2011. Things can only get better from here, right?

Last year at this time I was finishing up my 2nd season in the Christmas Show and on New Year's Eve I sat with friends who had written down their resolutions for 2010. I sat with an empty paper -- no plans whatsoever for the year. No job lined up. No performances scheduled. No clue.

This year I danced for 4 new different companies, secured a stable part-time job (related to my degree) with flexible hours (that I still work), moved out of my Lincoln Center apartment of 2 years for a more affordable place in Queens, started teaching more and began my New York City Ballet Workout certification, upped my title to Assistant Director of the Performing in NY Showcases, met an amazing person, started singing lessons, appeared in a commercial and became SAG eligible, got great coverage in The Huffington Post, and managed to go no more than 3 weeks without performing until I had surgery.

I'm entering 2011 with another blank slate. As my foot continues to hurt and heal it's hard to make concrete plans -- which is extremely frustrating for someone who needs control and stability! But I have one long-term dance residency job lined up and a few things in the works. I'm starting a work-study program to begin my pilates certification. We're in preparations to produce another Performing in NY Showcase at Ailey. I still have my job. And I've sent out 50 resumes abroad to hopefully set up an audition tour in Europe.

There are a lot of things I'm hoping for this year. Chief among them is my foot to finally stop hurting and contiue to get stronger.

2010 was a year to get grounded. 2011 will be my year to dream.

This time of year is always a little blue...post-holidays, post-Nutcracker, post-Radio City...but it's also a time to be optimistic. January is a fresh start. 2011 is new. I hope everyone makes their dreams come true this year! I know I'll be working hard for mine...

I am so thankful for all of my experiences, the good and the bad, for I am constantly learning. I have an amazing support system of family, friends, readers, and teachers and am grateful every single day to have them in my life, near or far. I can never express how much I appreciate those who have supported me, who have listened to me, who have given me opportunities, who have encouraged me.

Here's to you!
Happy New Year!

2 Years Ago Today, Life Became Amazing

Two years ago today I got the best phone call in the world.

"Hey Taylor it's C. calling from Radio City Music Hall. How are you? Please give me a call back as soon as humanly possible about the show..."

To this day I have the peppy voicemail saved on my phone. Completely out of the blue, after they had already told me they didn't have a job for me, The Radio City Christmas Spectacular called to hire me as an ensemble dancer in the New York show.

I will never forget that feeling - the rush of just "ahhh!" running through me as I sat at my internship desk at Sterling Publishing. I literally had to keep re-checking my phone's recent calls to make sure it really did happen.

I've been SO fortunate to dance 2 seasons with the show. It was the best time of my life, dancing up to 17 shows a week in a 6,000-seat theater with incredible cast members. I am grateful more than I can say for every day I spent there.

A part of me still secretly hopes they'll call me in the next month asking me to dance this year (despite, you know, the boot). :(

Here's my blog post from the day I got the call.
Here's my blog post from my very first day of rehearsals.
Here's my blog archive of all things RC.

Remembering 9/11

Every year this day reminds me of how much I have to appreciate, and how much I love my city.

There's not much to say...words still can't express what we lost that day or what we've gained since then. I can't believe 9 years have passed...

From a blog entry I posted 2 years ago today:

"I remember being in French class that morning, in 8th grade. They turned on the television in the classroom and my math teacher came in and told us something had happened in New York City. Oh no, I remember thinking, my beloved city. I had been here exactly one week before the planes hit the towers at an agent's call audition for Clara at Radio City. One week before. And I remember not understanding the magnitude of the attacks until my mom picked me up from Dunkin Donuts next to school that afternoon. The first thing she said was, "Are you very upset by what happened?" It didn't occur to me until then how terrible this was.

That morning my French teacher told us we'd always remember where we were when this happened. This was a horrible event that would go down in history. And I certainly haven't forgotten.

My thoughts are out to the September 11th victims and their families tonight."

A Year Out of College

In case it's not absurdly evident: I'm a very nostalgic, memory-driven, time conscious person. I'm constantly thinking about the past...past experiences, people, change. It always intrigues me to think about how time passes and how much has happened since certain milestones. (Apparently I have an extremist personality, because I'm also constantly worrying about the future...)

One year ago today was my official graduation date from Marymount Manhattan College. Since my path has been somewhat (extremely) unconventional, it doesn't really seem all that monumental (nor all that long ago!). But so very much has happened in one year, and even in 6 months since my birthday (remember those tumultuous few weeks?!)

Internship at The New Yorker. Apprentice with Rebecca Kelly Ballet. Intensive at ABT. Teaching and choreographing on high school students for the first time. Writing longer articles for 2 additional dance magazines than before. Ballet contract. Apartment mayhem. Brief stint in book publishing. The call from Radio City. 110 shows of a dream come true. Finishing grad school. Branching out to modern dance. Starting my first book. And lots in between. Not to mention the many incredible people (friends, teachers, bloggers, editors, readers) I've come in contact with (it's been a particularly great year for that).

When I look at it like this, it seems like it's been a productive, long, and rather insane first year out of college.

As it all really happened it didn't seem nearly as wonderful, and as I look ahead to this next year, which will be my first out of grad school (and out of school for good for the first time EVER) it's hard to imagine what's coming down the road. It's scary.

Two years ago at this time I was interning with a dance publicist and learning Balanchine's "Divertimento No. 15" at BAE.


Three years ago at this time I got the great luck of landing my first internship (of 7) - with Pointe Magazine - at age 17, knowing hardly a soul in NYC, 1 semester into my college career, and with a largely empty resume'.


Four years ago at this time I was dead set on moving to New York and spent every waking hour not in the ballet studio researching the ins and outs of the city. Independent in Philadelphia was not enough.

(on an audition trip up from school in Philly)

Five years ago at this time, I first realized the speed at which my life was taking off by finishing sophomore year of high school in 3 months and still navigating my first year away from home.

(going to the junior/senior prom even though I was kind of a sophomore. and it wasn't a real "prom")


Six years ago at this time life had honestly not even begun.

(friends might hurt me for posting this one)

So, when people ask me what my one or five year goals are, how on earth, given my track record to the current moment, can I give an answer?!

bae letter from the editor

So as I mentioned a while back, my old ballet studio called me in to produce an issue of their school newsletter, since it hasn't been done since early 2006. It was actually more fun of a project than I expected because I got to reminsce about performances from the past 2 years and go through pictures and programs.

Yesterday I sent the director a draft of all the copy, so I thought now would be a good time to share my letter from the editor. I have to say, this was one of the first things I wrote for it, and one of the hardest - for various reasons.

Anyways, see my letter below. When the whole issue is done and the pdf is online I'll link to it.

Tonight I'm going to see Diana Vishneva's performance for ExploreDance review...and tomorrow is our little studio showing performance. Should be fun...my mom and grandmother are visiting for it.

Letter from the Editor - BAE alumni Taylor ---
Dear BAE Students, Faculty, and Friends,

I’m excited and honored to be bringing you a new issue of the Graded Level Ballet Newsletter. When Julia asked me to work on this project I couldn’t say no -- it’s my chance to give back to the place that gave me so much in my two years of attending.

Though many students have grown up here, I stepped into this unique environment for the last leg of my ballet training. I came to New York in 2005 in search of opportunity, but what followed was unimaginable, both at BAE and beyond.

There are a few particular moments that remain imprinted in my mind like the permanent lines of pointe shoes on my feet. The chance to tackle Balanchine repertoire is something few other pre-professional schools offer, and learning and performing Raymonda Variations and Divertimento No. 15 were unparalleled experiences.

I remember being in the green room just after coming offstage from our first performance of Raymonda Variations in the Spring Show of 2006. All of the teachers came down to congratulate us. “Balanchine would be proud,” Peter --- told me. “He loved his dancers, and we’re just passing on the love.” To that point I had never felt such validation from a performance, and it could only have happened at BAE.

Similar excitement came when working with various guest teachers. Getting corrections from Cynthia Gregory, practicing partnering with Nikolaj Hubbe, learning movement from Christopher D’Amboise - how could a new New Yorker even imagine these kinds of experiences? Saying that my expectations were surpassed is an understatement.

Unlike most of my classmates, while polishing my technique I was enrolled full-time in college as well, aspiring to be a writer outside of dance. To balance homework and rehearsals, not to mention internships galore, was difficult, but the challenges motivated me to push harder for what I wanted. Since graduating from BAE in the spring of 2007, I have danced with two ballet companies, completed a project to be presented at the Dance Research Forum Ireland, interned at magazines like The New Yorker, written about dance for many publications, graduated Magna Cum Laude from Marymount Manhattan College with a BA in Communication Arts, and started grad school at age 19.

Busy as I may be, I’m excited to be sharing my writing career with BAE. Feel free to contact me with suggestions for the next issue, and I hope you enjoy the newsletter!

All my best, Taylor

great Dane

Much of the talk around the dance blogosphere today is about Nikolaj Hubbe, a New York City Ballet principal dancer who will be retiring from the company this week to take on the role of director of the Royal Danish Ballet, the company where he first made it big.

Apprently there was an interview/q&a with him last night that I so sadly missed, but Philip and Tonya wrote quite a bit about it...

I thought it would be fitting to mention my memory of working with Nikolaj at BAE 2 years ago. For our Studio Showing he came to set parts of Bournonville's "Napoli" on us...and it was SO much fun!

(me in "Napoli")


First of all, that ballet is great. I had learned one of the little variations from it back at Rock a few years before, but the whole tarantella scene and everything that we did is so wonderful. The excerpts we did included this, a pas de six, and a few variations. Even though it's supposed to be the same six dancers who are featured in the tarantella, Nikolaj broke it up into sections so that each of the 20-some people in our version of it got a chance to shine. My part was with a kid who is now at PNB, and we were both kind of shy...apparently we were supposed to be the couple who were "married"...at one point Nikolaj wanted us to make eye contact or something and neither of us could do it and get the steps at the same time, so he stopped the whole rehearsal and did the combination with me alone, all the while laughing and yelling "look at me like you love me!"

It was his incredible energy, zest for movement, and charismatic humor that made working with him so memorable and fun. I know all of the other BAE dancers had many laughs during those rehearsals, and I think we'd all agree he was one of the best guest teachers we had! What an honor it was to work with him on a Bournonville piece, for which he is known and for which he will move on to with his directorship of Royal Danish Ballet.

I saw him last week in "Square Dance" and not only was I amazed by his dancing (of course) but I felt quite lucky to say that I had once been in a studio with him laughing and learning. I think that's the beauty of dancing in New York...getting those opportunities.

He will be missed by many when he retires on Sunday!

made, REmade!

Just days after I posted about my memories of being in an episode of MTV's MADE about becoming a ballet dancer, I found out they made a new, similar episode with a girl who wants to be a dancer! Apparently it aired this weekend, but seeing a I don't have cable and rarely watch TV I missed it.

Thanks to the internet, however, you can see the full episode any time! So far I've only watched the first part (my computer and internet service are both sooo awful...) but it's really amusing. I'm sorry, but reality television is SO NOT reality. Watching it brought back even more memories of our months with the camera crew at Rock and the realization of what happens behind the scenes.

Anyway, if you get a chance go watch the episode!

Here's the opener:

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

This Day in History - Dancing With the Stars

(picture of a picture...Sept. 12 2006, Dancing With the Stars Promo in Lincoln Center)

(our group of "stars")

Okay, so actually it was a year and two days ago that this happened, but you get the idea. This Day in History...September 12, 2006: I was in a city-wide promotion for ABC's tv show Dancing With the Stars.

They were promoting the new season for the fall, so they had about 75 dancers (girls in black dresses, boys in gold "star" costumes...so attractive) go to various places throughout New York City and just dance while people gave out magnets to advertise the show.

We were in groups of 4 dancers (2 girls 2 boys) plus 2 others to give our ABC stuff. It was an all day affair: our group was first sent to some big subway station in Queens (sadly I don't even remember where it was...) in which we received many a strange look from commuters. Who's doing a tango in heels with a huge star at 8am? Yeah, that was us.

Later we got to dance on the balcony of this nice restaurant in east midtown. Again, many a strange look (and honks) from cars, busses, and people on the street. We had music blasting the whole time of course, and it was so much fun to just let loose and dance! So out of my realm (nooo ballet here...) but it was the most fun couple hundred bucks I ever made for a few hours of dancing!

At the end of the day they gathered all the dancers and "stars" near the fountain in Lincoln Center (in our fabulous outfits we walked all the way from First Ave across town!) for a big group shot (see above). They also filmed a quick little number where we all formed a big star on the plaza (which was supposed to be used in a commercial, but I never actually saw it...)

Anyways, it was quite an amusing experience. I was just reminscing and thought I'd share the memory on here...another new season of Dancing With the Stars starts September 24.

(a folded up star costume)

(Computer's Back) Moving Story Class - And an Update

(my emotional map for Moving Story class w/ Chris d'Amboise)

I’ve been without a computer for the past 2 weeks because my laptop crashed, so I apologize for not posting lately. You don’t realize HOW much you depend on technology until you are forced to be without it (I’ve been lost without it…I spend hours on end online!). Anyways I wanted to write about an article I saw in the newest issue of Dance Teacher Magazine (no I’m not a teacher but I read it anyway) and then give you a quick update because I have a lot of new stuff going on.

Moving Story Class

In the September issue of Dance Teacher there’s an interview with choreographer Christopher d’Amboise, a former NYCB Principal dancer and son of ballet legend Jacques d’Amboise (and sister of Broadway star Charlotte D’Amboise). In the interview he discusses his unique concept of choreography and “making steps your own” through is workshop class, “The Moving Story.”

He actually brought this workshop to us back in June at Ballet Academy East and so I thought I’d share my personal experience learning with him. We had worked with him back in the winter, when he choreographed an original piece, “On the Edge” for our Studio Showing. For most of us it was our first time working with truly contemporary choreographing and it was definitely a challenge to move in different ways while still maintain our ballet technique. One of the major things Chris emphasized while working with us then was that we had a freedom within the choreography to individualize it. At the time, it was confusing and a bit intimidating to have that task: To this point, I had always been taught to conform to a choreographer’s wishes and do things exactly as I was told. Here he wanted us to take his movements and manipulate them, however slightly, to make them comfortable in our bodies and personalities.

It wasn’t until he came back to teach the Moving Story class that I was fully able to grasp this concept. He began the first session without speaking a word. He demonstrated a series of steps and we automatically imitated them. After a while he began to repeat the steps one at a time while saying what appeared to be random words. Soon the connection was clear. Each step was supposed to look like the object or action he was saying. For example, “fly swatter” was a loud clap as if you were literally swinging at a bug. “Jump over the fence” was a Jerry Robbins inspired jump (think the opening number in West Side Story) where you pretended to be going over something.

Over the following sessions we developed a “movement language” as a group. Every step we did had a name that we established together. Similar to the ballet vocabulary, every step led to something else and the connections and in between steps were important as well. The hardest part of all this was that not only did we have to work our way through the foreign choreography but, as we danced it, we had to speak the names of the steps out loud! It was truly a challenge, especially for me because I am quiet. I remember he actually made me dance and speak alone the very first lesson. He pointed to me and made me go first, and all I remember was that my mind went blank. I did the steps and said the words without even thinking about it, and all of a sudden it came so naturally. It was a very odd feeling - dancing and speaking without thinking. I don’t know if that was the intention, or even if I did the sequence correctly, but from that moment I knew this technique was something I wanted to explore and incorporate in my dancing.

As the workshop progressed we learned how to convey different emotions through movement and eventually how to create short stories through dance. It was very specifically not an acting workshop - the point was to create feelings through our bodies. For example, if you do something sharp and strong it might mean you’re angry, whereas a slower, legato movement might convey exhaustion. He had us create “emotional maps” and use them in his choreography to make the combination “our own.” The result was 15 very different interpretations of the same movement and a clear example of the point of the workshop.

He also spoke a lot about back phrasing and front phrasing, namely playing with the music to decide which particular steps are “important” or emphasized. Already I did a bit of this naturally, but after hearing his explanation of this I found myself considering new ways to hear things, even just in ballet class. I can honestly say that since taking the Moving Story workshop I have implemented some of the concepts I learned about movement analysis and it has added a whole other dimension to interpreting choreography and even basic steps in class.


On another Note…
An Update

September is always exciting and full of new beginnings, but this years seems to be exceptionally busy. Here’s a few things that I’ve been up to and that are coming up soon:

-Last Semester of College!
This week I started my final semester at Marymount Manhattan. I really can’t believe I graduate in just a few short months. It went by too fast (only 2 years!) and in some ways I don’t feel like I’ve even had the college experience. I’m taking an overload schedule to finish all my required courses. I’m also working as the Features Editor of our school paper, The Monitor, so we’re getting set up for a new issue.

-Starting Grad School!
My school has this special program where you can take graduate courses in your last semester that will count for credit as both undergrad and grad school, so I’m also taking courses in Magazine Publishing at Pace University. We had orientation the other day and I’m really excited about the program. It lets me really focus in on what I want to do after dancing.

-Benefit Performance
Details for this are still in the works, so I’ll post more later…but on October 24 I’ll be dancing in a benefit performance for the Tyler Dunne Foundation. More on that soon…

-Nutcracker, already?
Next weekend I start rehearsals for Nutcracker with the Albano Ballet Company in Connecticut. Performances are in December at Mohegan Sun, one of the biggest arenas in the northeast!

-Ajkun Ballet Theater
I also officially start as a Trainee with the international company Ajkun Ballet Theater in a few weeks. Not sure what that will bring, but it’s an exciting new beginning!

Home, (Bitter)Sweet Home

(me and the family - brother, grandmother, mom)

This past week was literally my first time having more than two days off from life in exactly one year. Between rehearsals, extra school courses, internships, and everything I haven’t had a chance to breathe until now. To start of my 3 weeks of freedom I went home to Boston to visit my family whom I haven’t seen since Christmas (imagine, they’re only an hour flight away and I never see them!).

Since leaving home four years ago I’ve always missed everyone but dreaded making the trip to visit home. It’s just something about reverting back to the old ways…even for just a short period of time. Going from big city independence to small town boredom isn’t necessarily something to look forward to. There’s not much to do in our area, and since I don’t have my driver’s license (God bless public transportation) I can’t really be free.

However, this past visit was really nice. Unlike most visits, I had no looming pressure of school or performances ahead, so I didn’t feel like I was missing anything by taking time off. And being summertime, all of my family and friends had time to reminisce. We had a lot of laughs and it was a nice break.

(friends reminscing and dancing in my living room)

We celebrated my (belated) birthday, and I got to visit my mom’s new dance studio (it’s quite pink inside, like tradition…the last studio was pink for 50 years!). I got to see all my friends I grew up with and even relive some old dance routines (haha).

(me dancing in my mom's studio)

As I was growing up in my small town driving 2 hours a day to commute to ballet I always regretted not being born in a big city. Looking back, though, as a New York City resident (with high rent and hardly enough space to stretch out) I love that I have that alternative to look forward to for a change whenever I visit. No matter how far I go in this world, that place will always be my home.

(my mom and I)

Another Ballet Birthday

performing Little Swans in 'Swan Lake' at an intensive on my 14th birthday (me on far right)

Today was my 19th birthday. Not only do birthdays make me feel like life is passing all too quickly before my eyes, but they make me think back to how I spent my past birthdays. I’ve had a lot of laughs over the years, but there isn’t a single birthday I can remember that hasn’t revolved around dancing.

The earliest birthdays I have concrete memories of are around age 8 or 9, when I would have my close group of friends over (which remained the same set of people for years) for a sleepover. Maybe “normal” kids play silly games or watch movies at their parties, but growing up under the dance reign of my family‘s studio, my parties were quite different. We would MAKE movies! I remember assigning each of my friends to a different dance in our remake of “A Chorus Line.” In another one, we all did a dance and lip sync to our favorite singers (I admit: many a Spice Girl theme…). Though not musical in nature, another of our birthday films that stands out in memory is “Who Killed the Rabbi?” at my make believe Bat Mitzvah on my 13th birthday (don’t ask hahaha)!

As the years passed, however, I started attending ballet intensives for increasing amounts of time over the summer and was almost always away for my birthday. My first summer away was for two weeks at a performing camp in upstate Vermont, beginning on the Monday of my birthday. Not only was I thrilled with the immediate independence I had by turning 12 years old away from my parents, but I was so happy with the surprise party my counselor, roommates, and new friends of 24 hours had thrown me! I still remember the moment when they locked me in my room to set up the common room with balloons.

I spent one more birthday at that camp before attending a different camp a year later: one where I would soon spend 2 full years of my life. My two summers here were perhaps the most fun I had because I made 3 really close friends who remain pen-pals to this day. For my birthday during both summers they completely surprised me by cleaning and decorating my room with streamers and confetti. Also, the year I turned 14 I got a later curfew for “coming of age” and so we went to get ice cream late (8pm?) just because we could. Another summer I remember staying up until midnight on the 30th with my roommates just so they could sing to me when it officially turned 12:01am on my birthday.

More importantly, during these years (as well as all birthdays since) I was always dancing. We would have a regular full day of classes and rehearsals at whatever camp I was at, and most of the time I was too shy or quiet to tell the teachers of my birthday. I would treat these ballet days like any other day of work, and only celebrate later back at the dorms. Even though other dancers had their birthdays during the intensive and got to wear special leotards or have the class sing to them, I always seemed to remain quiet during ballet. Even my birthday couldn’t disrupt the work.

Unfortunately (or, maybe fortunately?) this remains true years later, today, on my 19th birthday. I spent the day working at ballet, even though I did not attend an intensive (for the first time in 13 yrs) this year. Though the little kids at the ballet camp I’m working at sang “Happy Birthday” 3 times and I received several homemade presents and cards, it was still work. Yesterday in open class they sang to me as well, an unexpected surprise. But later this afternoon, for reasons unknown even to me, I decided to take the open ballet class that I don‘t particularly enjoy anymore. Maybe I felt it was tradition that I dance on my birthday, or maybe I just felt like I shouldn’t take a day off.

Either way, it was work. Dancing, and being in the dance world in general, has become work rather than play - even on a birthday. It’s interesting to see that on a day of celebration I still feel the annoyances, frustrations, and pains of ballet - and at the same time, there’s nothing better I can imagine doing on my birthday than dancing. It is the element that has remained a constant throughout the years.

a birthday before the ballet days