Evaluations = cause for celebration?

Receiving written evaluations with a breakdown of your strengths and weaknesses blatantly graded in black and white is a fact of life of an aspiring ballet dancer. Every school or program has their own way of handling these and of giving you feedback on what you need to work on (some kinder than others...), but overall they share the same basic criteria:

turn out, flexibility, foot work, adagio, turns, jumps, porte de bras, alignment, placement, line, projection, musicality, attendance...the list goes on, and varies in specificity (once I had two different grades for "arch" and "instep"...)

Anyway, after being away from the whole "ballet school" atmosphere for just about a year as I transitioned into an apprenticeship and so forth, I was greatly surprised to hear during my last few days at the ABT intensive that we would receive written evaluations by mail in a few weeks. I definitely had a flashback to my early Boston Ballet days when they would hand us evaluations and meet in the scary office for them to tell us all that's wrong with us (okay, I'm being dramatic...however, that was NOT the worst of these occasions...). I was a bit nervous to receive mine in the mail...and it came today.

I opened it and laughed.

For the first time in 20 years (yes, I turn 20 four weeks from today...) I received something other than "satisfactory/needs improvement" on BOTH turnout and feet. If you knew me and what I've been through with my evil tendonitis-infused hips and bursitis-riden feet (both from overuse, i.e. forcing what I don't have) you would know that this is a GRAND OCCASION.

Hahaha.

Of course, there are MANY other things in the evaluation that I need to work on, and it is much less intense than the "ballet school" type evaluations because I won't be returning to them. And yes, it is very subjective.

But you have no idea what it means for a teacher to write the words, "very good" next to the words "turn out" when all you've heard your whole life is "bad". It's a break through!

the final stretch

Two more days to go of the intensive.

I'm ready for a break, but looking forward to our performances on Friday.

Today we had our last rehearsals together before the dress rehearsal/run though tomorrow afternoon. It's exciting putting together a piece, particularly the contemporary work I'm in that's totally from scratch, in just two and a half weeks. It's nice to see things through to fruition quickly.

The next two days are going to be insane (that's pretty much a given statement in every blog post, haha sorry) and then this weekend I head to DC for a few days. Hopefully I'll catch up on performance reviews once things calm down (I have like 3 to do from the past 2 weeks..oops) and I'll get a chance to blog about some other stuff going on.

body toll

Yeah...three weeks of this intensive on top of my normal ridiculous schedule is definitely taking its toll on my body this week.

Up to this point, my body has been surprisingly resilient from the ballet overload throughout the intensive. I really haven't been that sore aside from my bad achilles tendon - I've just been dead tired by the end of the day. In the mornings I've woken up actually being able to walk and sometimes without the crackling rhythms of my back and hips that usually greet me as I roll out of bed.

Until this week, haha.

Between many pairs of dead pointe shoes, too little sleep, and general busy-ness I'm feeling it all today. Ugh. Ouch.

Luckily there's only 3 more days, and one of them is basically devoted to our little performances, so I think I'll make it out alive.

The thing is, I used to do this kind of intense training for way more than just 3 weeks and I'd be fine. You know, tendonitis like crazy and exhausted - but fine. Hah. Now I'm a little smarter and though I COULD go on and on like this I know that it's safer for me to rest and stop while I'm ahead.

For instance, the summers I spent in Boston (05' & 06' I think) I was at the studio 9am-9:30pm...the thing was, we did have breaks but I was overambitious (what else is new) and since I lived at home an hour away and didn't have a nearby dorm to run to for dinner and a rest between rehearsals, I would simply take extra classes. A third technique class during the dinner break, men's class during the morning break (yes, men's class. I love to jump when my achilles is good).

But now I can't really put myself through that and retain sanity, haha.

Now instead of taking those extra physical classes I'm mentally working extra hours (writing, work, etc) throughout the intensive.

I'll be glad when next week comes and I can just crash for a bit. Not much going on the rest of this month besides summer school classes and some reviews here and there. When you go through insanely busy times I've learned you HAVE to slow down when you can. I'm trying to figure out how to pace myself and might need just a little more practice, haha.

Ah, the Met

I have decided that I think I would be perfectly content to move in and just live at the Metropolitan Opera House for the rest of my life.

Haha.

Yesterday for the intensive we had a lecture and tour backstage at the theater and, of course, it was amazing.

First the lecture...it was with the former head stage manager of ABT, and the artistic & executive directors of Career Transitions for Dancers. First they spoke about that company and their services for older dancers and then they went into discussing the behind the scenes work they do for their annual CTFD gala performance at City Center. The point was to talk about what it's like to work on a gala and what production aspects must be considered.

I went to the CTFD gala 2 years ago when Liza Minelli was hosting and it was great!

Anyway, their conversation/lecture was really interesting and got me thinking of all kinds of stuff. I guess it was like trying to show other options besides being a dancer but still being involved in the dance world, and the two options presented were director and stage manager. As I was listening my head was spinning with ideas...I always do that - I hear someone inspiring and I think, oh my God, I want to do that, I could do this and this and this...and an imaginary future rolls out for me. That fantasy lasts just about as long as the lecture, haha, before I remember I have another life (2 or 3 actually) already going on and headed for an exciting future.

But whenever I'm in a highly creative period (aka right now, and not just with dance but with my writing as well) I become inundated with ideas for projects to pursue. If only I had the time to see them through!

After the lecture they took us all backstage. Like when I was lucky enough to tour State Theater last week, they only took us in the immediate backstage area, like in the wings of the stage. Of course it was amazing. Though not as amazing as when I was back there as a super for ABT's Romeo & Juliet last year. THAT was incredible because not only could I experience the stage but it was in action with the company warming up and stagehands at work and so forth. Wow.

Where there once stood beautiful scenery for R&J in the wings was lots of "quick change booths" for the dancers. Our tour guide (the former stage manager) said it was because Twyla's piece had a lot of costume changes. The rest of the gynormous backstage was crowded with scenery for Don Q next week, and last week's Swan Lake set being prepared to load out on Monday.

Then we got to go out onstage.

That theater is the best place on earth.

It was totally empty, as was the stage because the program (Etudes & Tharp) didn't call for that extravagant scenery. Beautiful. Not nearly as exciting as when you look out when it's dark and anonymous faces fill those ruby seats and lights blind you and dancers whizz past and the orchestra lulls in live performance. But still, beautiful.

And my awe really doesn't have anything to do with dancing (well, not entirely anyway). It's more just the vastness of the stage and the theater itself.

I was practically born in a theater, performing since I was, like, 2. And I think it's the only place I would call home.

--

After that wonderful morning I stuck around and saw the matinee of Etudes & Tharp. Formal review to come for ExploreDance (when I ever get a moment to write it...so much writing to do this weekend and NO time), but: Etudes was pretty save for a few minor mishaps. And Tharp, I loved it! I've made a point not to read anyone's reviews of the new piece yet, which has been hard because that's usually part of my routine, but once I write my review I'll see what others thought. I thought it was great.

One more insane week to go. I have 2 BIG articles due tomorrow (eek) in addition to reviews I need to catch up on, plus school work, and of course the intensive. Craziness. And next weekend I'm headed to Washington, DC (never been there!) for the Dance Critics conference, which sounds very exciting according to the planned schedule.

Hopefully after that I can rest a bit later this month :)

Meet the Artist, & more

Back in my stricter ballet school days when our class was overtired and overworked and couldn’t muster the energy to take yet another intense series of barre exercises, we would try to convince the teacher to do a “meet the artist” with us. Instead of plies and pointe shoes we’d beg to hear the life story and career highlights of our teachers. You know they loved talking about themselves, but we had to be pretty exhausted to convince them to skip out on normal class.

Fortunately, ABT’s intensive has these “meet the artist” seminars built in – on top rather than instead of regular class. Given the credentials of the faculty there it’s really interesting to hear what they have to say. Today we “met” two people.

The first was Ethan Brown, who taught my level’s morning class. He was a soloist with ABT and danced in the company for 23 years. He spoke about his time at SAB and how he was asked my Misha to join ABT just randomly in class one day. He also talked about his sister, Leslie Brown, who was in the moving “The Turning Pointe.” Very cool.

The longer seminar was with Rachel Moore, the Executive Director of ABT. She's great. She was actually the exec director of Boston Ballet School while I was still there back in the day. She mentioned quite a few things of note…

After describing her career in the corps de ballet of ABT and her admirable transition to college and grad school (Arts Admin @ Columbia), she went into a discussion about the state of dance today and the financial issues companies face. One of my favorite quotes she said: “In the totem pole of culture, dance is probably just above mimes and just below poets.” That got a great laugh.

One thing she mentioned was how she has to help balance the repertoire the company does so that they can balance the budget. For instance, if they want to do a more avant-garde work they have to also do something like “Swan Lake,” which consistently sells out for them. She said it’s hard for them to do things like Tudor ballets, which are often darker and not “children fare.” She said people don’t want to see that when they come to the ballet. “If Muffy from Idaho comes to NYC to see the ballet, she wants to see Swan Lake. It’s familiar.”

My opinion: that’s the reason ballet is stuck where it is. People only think of ballet (if they do at all) as sugar plum fairies and swans. It’s so much more than that!

She spoke quite a bit about NYCB and it being the competitor and some of the differences between the two companies. Apparently NYCB pays better and has more dancers, but ABT prides itself on being more of a touring company. She mentioned how when ABT does a Balanchine ballet it’s completely different from when another company does it, even just in the approach and style. Neither is better, just different. And she mentioned the vast difference in training, of course, which I’m witnessing firsthand in the classes there (personally, I’m finding I prefer the more freedom Balanchine training allows, although it can go overboard. The new abt curriculum style is a little to rigid for me, personally).

Moving on, she also discussed how they cast different ballets. She said that, particularly for the men in the company, there’s no one distinct look they want, but certain roles automatically make you think of certain people. She said you don’t think of Albrecht in Giselle as the short, firecracker type but more the tall, handsome princely type (making the obvious comparison, without directly naming them, between principal dancers like Herman Cornejo and David Hallberg).

My opinion: why not a short, firecracker prince? Why do we continue to live in a word of stupid stereotypes and archetypical appearances when there is such a multitude and diversity of talent out there? Just look at the casting. I know some dancers with atypical bodies are breaking the mold, but in general, as she pointed out and exemplified, the hero must look like a hero (whatever that is), and so on. Why does this continue, and am I the only one who doesn’t get it?

This kind of brings me to another poignant issue she discussed in the seminar: body types. Someone asked about body issues related to the company and she made a point to announce that they are very serious about dancers who are too thin, and they remove them from performances until they return to a healthy weight as determined by a doctor. After that cautious schpiel came the dirt.

She listed off the typical physical characteristics companies look for in a ballerina: “long legs, pretty feet, a long neck…” And then she went on to say that it was particularly difficult when she was in Boston to tell people that, “you know, some feet are just not going to change. And I’d never encourage someone to put themselves through this to hurt themselves in the long run just for the sake of completing a short term goal of being a dancer.”

Ouch. I was one of those kids they said that too.

“You’ll never be a dancer,” since age 10. Yet here I am folks…

No, not in ABT. But why does that – being prima ballerina in the best company in the country – have to be the only thing drilled in our heads to aspire to in the dance world? This is an everlasting frustration for me that resurfaced this afternoon, haha, so I’m just venting a bit.

After a lengthy discussion on this that had me shifting in my seat she mentioned her dislike of ballet competitions because they only award tricks instead of artistic nuances. An interesting point she made was that competitions CAN be beneficial “for people with odd bodies that wouldn’t necessarily be picked in a cattle call” and for those that look better onstage rather than in class. I agree with the weariness of competing…yet is it ironic then that the grand prize for the Youth America Grand Prix competition is a contract with ABT’s studio company?

Earlier Ethan mentioned that he works with that competition, judging and teaching. When asked by one of my classmates what he thinks are some good ballet schools, the first thing out of his mouth was one of my former schools that has transformed into a HEAVY competitor in these things. I had to laugh.

I am baffled and amazed at the same time at the range and depth of opinions in the dance world. It would be nice to have access to more of them, and to have a louder discussion going on about these kinds of issues. It’s so intriguing to hear what these teachers and so many others have to say from the extent of their careers.

That being said, it also got me thinking about dance history. Last week’s seminars at the intensive were powerpoint lectures about long ago choreographers and how ballet came about. Honestly, I was kind of bored – and not because the content isn’t important or interesting but because I couldn’t feel a personal connection to that history. So what if some guys danced with their feet turned out in fancy costumes in the royal courts…I can memorize names and dates but it’s hard, for me at least, to appreciate and learn from that past.

That’s a problem.

My solution to this problem is my finding that, again for me anyway, I am much more eager to hear stories and learn about the past through personal anecdotes and experiences of my own teachers and those they pass on from THEIR teachers. I always laugh when I hear yet another teacher get all nasally and crinkle their nose while saying, “No, dear, like this…” in imitation of Balanchine. They all do it the same way! It makes for a really clear, amusing, and humanistic picture of what that famous ballet maker was like. THAT’S the history I’m interested in – stories of what it was like to be in rehearsal with Jerome Robbins; what Balanchine used to tell his dancers before performances; what Alvin Ailey’s choreographic process was like. It adds such a deeper meaning and value to information when it’s a personal account, and though it may not be an objective historical lesson like dance history textbook, it’s a heck of a lot more fun to learn about.

I realize the problem with this is that soon enough we won’t have those bloodlines to trace back to those great choreographers and teachers. Even now we don’t have anyone to give a personal account of Louis XIV’s days starting the art form (of course), and those from the Ballet Russe are just about gone. It’s sad, but I think the preservation of those anecdotes and stories and such would be of great value to our generation.

Huh. That was a long rambling. Perhaps I’m not making sense anymore, as I’ve danced about 9 hours today and slept a little more than half of that.

But, thoughts? I’m interested to hear other opinions on these topics, etc!

me and modern

I wrote in a post last week after having a modern class at ABT's intensive that I prefer to stick just to ballet.

Then I thought about it more and realized that's the exact kind of attitude of bunhead-land that I can't stand anymore. SO when I saw that we had modern on the schedule for today I decided to go in with a more optimistic view.

That was actually quite easy to start, mostly because I was relieved to take off my pointe shoes for an hour and a half, haha. But more to the point, I realized that it's wrong to generalize all modern dance with my earlier statement. Of course I know I shouldn't generalize about ballet either and I hate when people do that as well, but it became clear today that, for me anyway, it really depends on the modern teacher and the class itself (combinations, pace, atmosphere) that make be feel strongly one way or the other towards the style.

The thing is, I've always really enjoyed dancing more contemporary work, which always includes modern movement. Especially when I was working with Rebecca Kelly Ballet, I learned a lot about integrating modern and balletic feelings. And it's great. It's just taking a full modern class that gets to me (and has since I first took modern in Boston during my 2nd summer or so there - maybe 9 years old?).

Today's modern class was a million times better than last week. We had a different teacher, and it really has nothing to do with liking or disliking the teacher as a person. It's more whether or not the class works for you, and the same goes for ballet teachers (believe me, there's a lot to say there but I will refrain myself...). So today's class I actually really enjoyed. It was much more freeing and move-y (I make up words) as opposed to last week, where I was just trying to repeat uncomfortable nuances my body didn't want to do. And neither class named itself as being a particular form of modern dance (Horton, Limon, etc). Both were a mix.

We have this teacher again this week, and also a different one tomorrow. We'll see how that goes, but again, trying to stay optimistic :)

Swan Lake rehearsals are going well. We finished learning all of Act II so now it's on to cleaning up details and such. Looking forward to the little performances next Friday.

It's been another long day and it's not over. I have several articles/reviews/school stuff to be writing this week, plus I'm working til midnight tonight. Better get off the blog and onto Word, haha.

long abt day, great nycb night

After the fourth looong day of ABT's intensive today, I spent a really nice night at NYCB.

An ABT update first...we had modern class today (which wasn't particularly thrilling for me...I'll stick with ballet for the moment please) and we've been working quick and hard in rehearsals for the showing at the end. Swan Lake is coming along...I'm a "little swan" so I'm slightly separate from the big corps some of the time, which is nice. Not sure yet if we'll get to do the variation though (I did little swans back one summer when I was like 13! a lifetime ago...). It's pretty though. Also the contemporary piece we're doing I really like. Some of it is our own choreography with a smaller group, and one girl in my trio is from France and barely speaks English! It was really interesting to work to put movement together with the language barrier...it proved that dance is the universal language because the teacher said our group was one of the strongest in terms of communication and getting it together, haha. Thought that was amusing.

Moving on.

I ran straight from the studio to the theater for a dinner event at NYCB that my editor at ExploreDance invited me to. My friend and I enjoyed a mini buffet while listening to Daniel Ulbricht and Erica Pereira (she went to BAE before me) speak about Jerome Robbins and the ballets on tonight's program.

THEN the highlight of my week - we got to take a short tour of backstage, and since whatever rehearsal was going on had just finished, we got to WALK ONSTAGE at State Theater!!! Wow. It was amazing. Like the moment I walked onstage at The Met last spring as a super with ABT. Just wow. Both theaters are gorgeous, and the Met is much bigger in the wings and immediately offstage, but State Theater is so beautiful. What a fun opportunity. Now if I could only get to dance up there, haha.

While chatting in the lobby I ran into fellow blogger Ariel. Nice to see you!

The performance was great, of course. Our tickets were actually for the 3rd ring, where I've never sat before. Press tix are usually in the orchestra, and if I do student rush it's usually way up at the top in the back rows. The 3rd ring, dead center, is like the perfect seat.

My real review will come for ExploreDance soon. "Interplay" was fun and energetic. "Ives, Songs" was as long and dull as when I reviewed it in the winter season. "I'm Old Fashioned" was glamorous and one of my new favorite Robbins works!

More details of the evening and performance to come.

Busy weekend ahead even though I'm beat from finishing my first week of the intensive. Tomorrow we have seminars to attend in the morning (one about pointe shoes, the other about the new ABT national curriculum). Then being the crazy person that I am, I'm taking my usual weekend classes that I take, even though my aching foot is telling me I should take a day off since I have the time.

Ah well.

Sunday showing at Ailey, then back to the grind at ABT all next week!

abt intensive seminar

Today at the end of a full (very full) day of classes at the ABT intensive, we had a 'meet the artist' seminar with Kate Lydon, former ABT dancer and current Editor in Chief at Dance Spirit Magazine. She's so nice!

She spoke about her dance career and her transition into writing and editing. Given my experience I was eager to hear what she had to say. You know that she is still pursuing her college degree?! And you know what I remembered, I might be wrong but I believe Pointe Mag's EIC hasn't (or didn't when she started there) completed her degree either. Interesting, no?

Kate was really inspiring to listen to. Her transition into her second career after feeling burnt out from ballet was interesting to hear about.

One thing she mentioned that was particularly interesting was that she believes negative reviews are not at ALL beneficial to anyone. She spoke about how dance reviews should be trying to get people to support the arts and a bad review isn't going to get them to go see the ballet.

While I think this makes sense in itself, I kind of disagree...I think negative criticism, when done respectfully (that's the key here), can help the art form improve and can aid choreographers in improving their work. I also don't know about the idea that reviews should be PR, trying to sell tickets. That's what features and interviews and previews are for, I think. Reviews need to tell it like it is, and usually they come after a short run of performances is over, so they can't sell tickets anyway. Just rambling here but it's something to think about.

In the seminar she also had the big group of us watch a few people improvise and then write down a description of the movement. It was a fun exercise to hear people's interpretations.

My body is shot from the past few days, but the intensive is going well. In addition to rehearsing Swan Lake we're doing a more contemporary piece with Brian Reeder (who just got a good review from Claudia in the Times for his piece for Studio Company). It's a cool piece and we get some freedom with the choreography to add our own ideas.

In addition to all this I'm going to a dinner event and performance of NYCB tomorrow night, which I'm looking forward to. Review of that to come.

Plus Ailey student showing on Sunday.

starting abt intensive

Yesterday was the first day of the ABT intensive I'm doing for the next 3 weeks. It's like a marathon for me because as usual I'm doing a million other things IN ADDITION to dancing 8 hours a day, haha.

It's going well so far...details to come when I have more time this weekend.
We're doing Act II Swan Lake for the showing at the end, and we've already started rehearsing.

It's kind of odd being back in strict black leotard/pink tights mode after the freedom I've had the past year. And class is very stylized in the new ABT curriculum, which is somewhat hard to adapt to after you build certain habits (like where the head goes at barre, etc). It's good though.

That's keeping me busy the next few days, in addition to working and going to a NYCB dinner event/performance Friday.
Student showing at Ailey on Sunday, also, which I'm looking forward to.