2010: The Year of Highest Highs and Lower Lows

2010. It's the end. The end of another year -- of a decade.

I seem to say this all the time, but it's incredible how much happens in a year -- and how much doesn't. Time fllies. I tend to live a life of extremes, and for me this year has had some of the highest high points and lowest low points of my entire life. I have SO much to be thankful for. So many people to be grateful for.

Back in July I had a full-page story about my dance career in the Sunday New York Times Arts & Leisure section. That was by far the biggest, most exciting thing to happen to me (and to ever happen, probably). Though it added a bit of stress for the first half of the year, being followed by a (wonderful!) reporter and photographer all the time, the end result was incredible. I was SO lucky to have that experience, and I am so thankful for the response I got afterwards from friends and strangers finding my story inspiring.

The only comparable event in my life thus far was dancing in The Radio City Christmas Spectacular, and unfortunately that took a turn for the worse soon after the article. My foot, which had been getting increasingly painful, made me unable to really train for the audition in August. Between not returning to that amazing seasonal job and having to have surgery on my achilles, the rest of my year was a little downhill.

I've had rough patches in years past and every time something better comes out of them. So...that's my outlook for 2011. Things can only get better from here, right?

Last year at this time I was finishing up my 2nd season in the Christmas Show and on New Year's Eve I sat with friends who had written down their resolutions for 2010. I sat with an empty paper -- no plans whatsoever for the year. No job lined up. No performances scheduled. No clue.

This year I danced for 4 new different companies, secured a stable part-time job (related to my degree) with flexible hours (that I still work), moved out of my Lincoln Center apartment of 2 years for a more affordable place in Queens, started teaching more and began my New York City Ballet Workout certification, upped my title to Assistant Director of the Performing in NY Showcases, met an amazing person, started singing lessons, appeared in a commercial and became SAG eligible, got great coverage in The Huffington Post, and managed to go no more than 3 weeks without performing until I had surgery.

I'm entering 2011 with another blank slate. As my foot continues to hurt and heal it's hard to make concrete plans -- which is extremely frustrating for someone who needs control and stability! But I have one long-term dance residency job lined up and a few things in the works. I'm starting a work-study program to begin my pilates certification. We're in preparations to produce another Performing in NY Showcase at Ailey. I still have my job. And I've sent out 50 resumes abroad to hopefully set up an audition tour in Europe.

There are a lot of things I'm hoping for this year. Chief among them is my foot to finally stop hurting and contiue to get stronger.

2010 was a year to get grounded. 2011 will be my year to dream.

This time of year is always a little blue...post-holidays, post-Nutcracker, post-Radio City...but it's also a time to be optimistic. January is a fresh start. 2011 is new. I hope everyone makes their dreams come true this year! I know I'll be working hard for mine...

I am so thankful for all of my experiences, the good and the bad, for I am constantly learning. I have an amazing support system of family, friends, readers, and teachers and am grateful every single day to have them in my life, near or far. I can never express how much I appreciate those who have supported me, who have listened to me, who have given me opportunities, who have encouraged me.

Here's to you!
Happy New Year!

Welcome New Readers :)

The photo that inspired my blog title.
Getting ready for Balanchine's
Divertimento No. 15 at BAE 2007.
Photo by the wonderful
Rosalie O'Connor.

Between the Huffington Post, The New York Times, and the Dance Advantage blog comptetition, I've gotten a lot of new blog readers lately :) Welcome! I thought (since it's been a while...) I'd just do a quick overview post about the blog and such...

I started Off Center back in the summer of 2007. I was 18, had just completed "ballet school" at BAE here in NYC and was starting my professional dance career, my final semester of college, and my first semester of grad school. And wow, a lot has happened since then...

Back then, there were very few dance blogs that existed. I was trying to start a freelance writing career after interning at Pointe Magazine, a dance PR agency, and a few other magazines - and I thought blogging might be a good way to keep myself churning out content. Basically the only other dance blogs (in New York, at least) were The Winger, Swan Lake Samba Girl, Oberon's Grove, Dancing Perfectly Free, and Great Dance. We all met in person for the first time in January of 2008 when Cedar Lake Dance became really the first company to invite bloggers and take notice that this was where the media world was headed.
 

(Ok I'm searching everywhere to find the picture we took that night but...this one was a few weeks later at a gathering hosted by Movmnt Magazine...)

That fall I wrote my senior thesis on dance journalism in print and online, and it's so amusing to read it now and see just how much has evolved in technology in just 3 short years!



Personally, a lot has come from starting the blog. I've gotten writing gigs from it and the opportunity to see more dance in NYC than I ever could've imagined. I've met some wonderful people (in real life and online) and have had the chance to interview inspiring dancers. I've been able to share some life highlights...

-Insights from rehearsals with numerous companies
-Internships at major magazines

-Graduation from college and grad school

-My first professional ballet job (and many thereafter)

-The joys of performing 2 years at Radio City

-My injury/surgery

...and many many more.

If you want to take a look back, the archives to the right are pretty mangeable. I'm in the process of trying to go through and label old posts that I never categorized...but that may take a while. There's also a feature on the left bottom side of the page called "Life at a Glance" that has some big topics already broken down (and also needs to be updated...).

I also am super active on Twitter, if you want to follow me there :)

And here's my full website with my bio, etc.

A huge thanks for reading! I so appreciate anyone who sticks with me to read more than one of my ramblings...

Nutcracker Memories

My roommate and I, my 1st year at Rock, with our "tree."

Sigh. As so many friends finish up Nutcracker seasons this week, I'm thinking back to all my (millions of) Nutcracker memories. Because of my stupid foot, this is the first winter in 15 years that I have danced in some version of the holiday classic. I grew up on it. It's what Christmas means to me. And it's really hard to have the season come without putting on a pair of pointe shoes...

I was very fortunate this season to still be involved in a production, even if I wasn't onstage. Since September I've been rehearsal assistant for Exit 12 Dance Company's brand new Nutcracker, which had its run this past weekend in West Hartford, CT. While it was frustrating to not get up and dance in rehearsals, I really enjoyed helping shape the choreography and clean up details. I was so thankful to still be part of the creative process in the studio, and for me it was a different but equally beneficial kind of learning process on the outside.

I went to see the finished product on Friday and was so proud to see my friends onstage :) Everyone looked beautiful and came a long way.

But at the same time, as I sat in the front row my heart was breaking. I want to dance. I want to be onstage. I want to be in Nutcracker. I miss it terribly...

While my foot still rests and gets stronger (and the pain hopefully goes away soon?) I'm trying as hard as I can to stay connected to ballet. But it's not the same when you just can't do it all day everyday, with performances this festive time of year. Here's a look back at some fun Nutcracker memories...

My first Nutcracker - as a Chinese Doll with Boston Ballet, age 7

Our cast of dolls

As a lamb in Boston's Nut. During Marzipan they had 4 of us hopping around stage.

As a pollichinelle in Boston. I was so proud: I got to be "Kissy Boy" at the end, staying onstage for an extra few seconds blowing kisses to the audience by myself :)

I was a party girl twice in Boston. This was the older year. Check out how long those curls are!

An angel in Boston. So...the audition people lost my # and didn't cast me, so last minute they made me the only thing they could: an angel with people twice my age (and height). Not a great year for a shorty under the smog.

My last year in Boston I was Tea. The parasols were fun.

After Boston I spent 2 years as a Hoop in Balanchine's Nutcracker at Pennsylvania Ballet. Nice pants.

After that came NYC: 2 years in Dances Patrelle's Nutcracker. This was snow.

A not-so-Spanish Spanish cast, Dances Patrelle.

After that? My first Nutcracker as a PROFESSIONAL. Albano Ballet in CT.

Albano Ballet bows.

And then: 2 years of my favorite. Ballerina bears at Radio City Music Hall. Ah.

And now...you can see me all too seriously watching Roman Baca's Nutcracker rehearsal, here.

Happy Nutcrackering! Happy Radio City-ing! Happy Holidays :)

From Halloweens Past

My brother and I. I'm guessing 1993?

Halloween has always been a favorite holiday, mostly because ballet class on that day was just slightly less serious when you're all dressed up :)

Here are some of my favorites from years past...

Halloween 2009. The theme was "Food and Drink," so Alice and I went as cookies and milk. Yes, we did barre like that!

Halloween 2009 at Radio City Music Hall. We all wore shirts with our Dance Captain's headshot on them. Good times!



Halloween 2007. One of my favorites. Yes, I did class on my "yellow brick road."



Halloween 2006.





Halloween 2004. I still remember the look on my ballet teacher's face at this one...



Halloween 2003 at Rock. Check out my hair standing tall. What a baby I was!

 

Halloween 1991? Really a baby!

Yes, I'm missing photos from a big span of years in there but...I'm sure that's a good thing! Those costumes included Miss America, a butterfly, an Indian...and that's the extent of my memory. Haha!



dance on camera: sytycd and made memories

Tonight in class we had a special 'treat.'

A girl who sometimes takes class with us is a semi-finalist for So You Think You Can Dance and they wanted to film her in ballet class, so we had a big camera crew the whole time. They were mainly focused on the girl and on the teacher, and supposedly it's only going to be a short clip, (and I forgot to sign the video release we were required to sign...), BUT it was still kind of stressful! Haha.

It makes you work differently when there's an audience, any kind of audience, be it in person or behind a camera, and even if they're not focused on you (as in this situation, or perhaps in a corps de ballet in the background situation) you still know they can see you. It's hard work! I definitely approached class differently without meaning to...I was so tired by the end. More so than usual. 'Course I still took the class right after it too, as I usually do - and all on pointe nonetheless.

Anyways, dodging the camera men reminded me of the days at Rock School when they filmed an episode of MTV's "MADE" on us. Some kid wanted to be 'made' into a ballet dancer, so he came and took class for about 2 months and they filmed the whole thing, from barre to grande allegro to stretching and chatting before class to eating dinner in the lounge afterwards. It was certainly an experience being followed by a camera (again, not as the focus but still in the picture) and fun in some ways but annoying in others. It's interesting to be behind the scenes for a supposed "reality" tv show. Hm.

Well, tonight brought back those memories, so I thought I'd share a picture from the fake Nutcracker (I mean...um...totally real...) we did for our MADE episode back in early 2005. And then I got looking into old pictures from that year and thought I'd post a few for kicks. Enjoy :)


on the bus on the way to Delaware to film the 'performance'


Cheech! She's back in Japan :(


snow ball fight in the courtyard...it was moments like these that made living all together fun


roommates

MEMORY: Anticipating Halloween

So I'm having yet another case of insomnia - where I cannot get to sleep because I'm thinking of all the work I should be doing, and instead of being productive while being awake I do things like go through old pictures and reread old blogs, etc.

I've been reminscing a lot lately, thinking back myself and talking to some (not so) old friends, and I've decided to start a new installment to this blog: MEMORIES. I'll post an old photo or two and write a bit about some experience or another. Not that I don't have plenty going on right now to write about, but I enjoy thinking back and I have tons of pictures from those times but little writing.

So here's MEMORY post #1 - Halloween.

I came across my pictures from last year's Halloween class and thought I'd put them on here for a laugh. Halloween and ballet have always gone together, for as long as I can remember. Wherever I happen to be in a given year we always dress up for class and attempt to dance in impossible costumes. It's tradition (my personal best costume for class was the fat clown suit, Rock 2004).


(Me and Victoria as clowns. Can't believe I actually just put this on here! May have to delete in the morning when I regain sanity...She may kill me when she sees this haha)

I'm definitely looking forward to Halloween this year, but I have to say last year was definitely one of the best...it's hard to explain why so instead I'll just post some pictures. Enjoy!


Everyone at the studio.


Some of us before class.


The circle of trust.