More Musings on Black Swan, Eating Disorders, Etc.

Let me preface this by saying that I think it's time we move on from all this jibber jabber and actually do something about ballet's issues. Too much talk...

Anyway, here are few more interesting news items I've come across over the past few days about "Black Swan," the whole Alastair/Jeni Ringer deal, and eating disorders in ballet...

First off, in response to the HuffPost article I was in yesterday, one of my ballet teachers who danced as a soloist in NYCB under Balanchine for many years said, "Interesting...my generation, I think, just worked to be better dancers and better artists and hoped the audience would be moved by what we were doing. I never thought of trying to be perfect, that would be asking for WAY too much. We had a good time and apparently it worked. Then again...I remember dancing mostly for the audience not for other dancers."

I think that obsession for perfection that we see so strongly in Natalie Portman's character is inherent in the art form -- we're asking our bodies to do things physically unnatural -- but the emphasis on that has grown over the years for dancers themselves. Now it's so much about tricks and turns and competition. 

Here's an interesting radio interview with two prominent ballet people in Boston: one of my former teachers, Margaret Tracey, who now directs Boston Ballet School, and Jose Mateo of Jose Mateo Ballet Theater. It's fascinating to me to hear the director side of things sometimes. In the midst of all this ballet press I feel like many spokespeople are giving cookie cutter, "nice" answers to questions about ballet. "Oh yes, our ballerinas are healthy." We seem to be protecting our art form - myself included - which makes sense. But the truth is (and it's pointed out around 15:00 in the interview) that there's a huge gap between what we say and what we do. We say we love ballerinas of all healthy shapes and sizes. Then we hire or cast the "perfect" ones. Hmm...something's not right. I'm really curious to read Elizabeth Sullivan's Columbia thesis that's referenced in the interview, titled "The Introduction of Wellness Programs in Pre-Professional Ballet Schools in the United States. 

Moving on...here's a health expert's opinion about the psychological aspects of Natalie Portman's character. "But could Natalie Portman's character have carried off the demanding ballet performance in a psychotic state? Doctors say it would have been 'unlikely.'" It's pretty clear from the start of the film that this is fiction, fantasy, not real. That's why I think this works as a decent film for our art -- it's not claiming to be a true representation of ballet dancers, and it's not duplicating the cheesy stereotypes of "Center Stage."

Thoughts?b

(Computer's Back) Moving Story Class - And an Update

(my emotional map for Moving Story class w/ Chris d'Amboise)

I’ve been without a computer for the past 2 weeks because my laptop crashed, so I apologize for not posting lately. You don’t realize HOW much you depend on technology until you are forced to be without it (I’ve been lost without it…I spend hours on end online!). Anyways I wanted to write about an article I saw in the newest issue of Dance Teacher Magazine (no I’m not a teacher but I read it anyway) and then give you a quick update because I have a lot of new stuff going on.

Moving Story Class

In the September issue of Dance Teacher there’s an interview with choreographer Christopher d’Amboise, a former NYCB Principal dancer and son of ballet legend Jacques d’Amboise (and sister of Broadway star Charlotte D’Amboise). In the interview he discusses his unique concept of choreography and “making steps your own” through is workshop class, “The Moving Story.”

He actually brought this workshop to us back in June at Ballet Academy East and so I thought I’d share my personal experience learning with him. We had worked with him back in the winter, when he choreographed an original piece, “On the Edge” for our Studio Showing. For most of us it was our first time working with truly contemporary choreographing and it was definitely a challenge to move in different ways while still maintain our ballet technique. One of the major things Chris emphasized while working with us then was that we had a freedom within the choreography to individualize it. At the time, it was confusing and a bit intimidating to have that task: To this point, I had always been taught to conform to a choreographer’s wishes and do things exactly as I was told. Here he wanted us to take his movements and manipulate them, however slightly, to make them comfortable in our bodies and personalities.

It wasn’t until he came back to teach the Moving Story class that I was fully able to grasp this concept. He began the first session without speaking a word. He demonstrated a series of steps and we automatically imitated them. After a while he began to repeat the steps one at a time while saying what appeared to be random words. Soon the connection was clear. Each step was supposed to look like the object or action he was saying. For example, “fly swatter” was a loud clap as if you were literally swinging at a bug. “Jump over the fence” was a Jerry Robbins inspired jump (think the opening number in West Side Story) where you pretended to be going over something.

Over the following sessions we developed a “movement language” as a group. Every step we did had a name that we established together. Similar to the ballet vocabulary, every step led to something else and the connections and in between steps were important as well. The hardest part of all this was that not only did we have to work our way through the foreign choreography but, as we danced it, we had to speak the names of the steps out loud! It was truly a challenge, especially for me because I am quiet. I remember he actually made me dance and speak alone the very first lesson. He pointed to me and made me go first, and all I remember was that my mind went blank. I did the steps and said the words without even thinking about it, and all of a sudden it came so naturally. It was a very odd feeling - dancing and speaking without thinking. I don’t know if that was the intention, or even if I did the sequence correctly, but from that moment I knew this technique was something I wanted to explore and incorporate in my dancing.

As the workshop progressed we learned how to convey different emotions through movement and eventually how to create short stories through dance. It was very specifically not an acting workshop - the point was to create feelings through our bodies. For example, if you do something sharp and strong it might mean you’re angry, whereas a slower, legato movement might convey exhaustion. He had us create “emotional maps” and use them in his choreography to make the combination “our own.” The result was 15 very different interpretations of the same movement and a clear example of the point of the workshop.

He also spoke a lot about back phrasing and front phrasing, namely playing with the music to decide which particular steps are “important” or emphasized. Already I did a bit of this naturally, but after hearing his explanation of this I found myself considering new ways to hear things, even just in ballet class. I can honestly say that since taking the Moving Story workshop I have implemented some of the concepts I learned about movement analysis and it has added a whole other dimension to interpreting choreography and even basic steps in class.


On another Note…
An Update

September is always exciting and full of new beginnings, but this years seems to be exceptionally busy. Here’s a few things that I’ve been up to and that are coming up soon:

-Last Semester of College!
This week I started my final semester at Marymount Manhattan. I really can’t believe I graduate in just a few short months. It went by too fast (only 2 years!) and in some ways I don’t feel like I’ve even had the college experience. I’m taking an overload schedule to finish all my required courses. I’m also working as the Features Editor of our school paper, The Monitor, so we’re getting set up for a new issue.

-Starting Grad School!
My school has this special program where you can take graduate courses in your last semester that will count for credit as both undergrad and grad school, so I’m also taking courses in Magazine Publishing at Pace University. We had orientation the other day and I’m really excited about the program. It lets me really focus in on what I want to do after dancing.

-Benefit Performance
Details for this are still in the works, so I’ll post more later…but on October 24 I’ll be dancing in a benefit performance for the Tyler Dunne Foundation. More on that soon…

-Nutcracker, already?
Next weekend I start rehearsals for Nutcracker with the Albano Ballet Company in Connecticut. Performances are in December at Mohegan Sun, one of the biggest arenas in the northeast!

-Ajkun Ballet Theater
I also officially start as a Trainee with the international company Ajkun Ballet Theater in a few weeks. Not sure what that will bring, but it’s an exciting new beginning!

Another Ballet Birthday

performing Little Swans in 'Swan Lake' at an intensive on my 14th birthday (me on far right)

Today was my 19th birthday. Not only do birthdays make me feel like life is passing all too quickly before my eyes, but they make me think back to how I spent my past birthdays. I’ve had a lot of laughs over the years, but there isn’t a single birthday I can remember that hasn’t revolved around dancing.

The earliest birthdays I have concrete memories of are around age 8 or 9, when I would have my close group of friends over (which remained the same set of people for years) for a sleepover. Maybe “normal” kids play silly games or watch movies at their parties, but growing up under the dance reign of my family‘s studio, my parties were quite different. We would MAKE movies! I remember assigning each of my friends to a different dance in our remake of “A Chorus Line.” In another one, we all did a dance and lip sync to our favorite singers (I admit: many a Spice Girl theme…). Though not musical in nature, another of our birthday films that stands out in memory is “Who Killed the Rabbi?” at my make believe Bat Mitzvah on my 13th birthday (don’t ask hahaha)!

As the years passed, however, I started attending ballet intensives for increasing amounts of time over the summer and was almost always away for my birthday. My first summer away was for two weeks at a performing camp in upstate Vermont, beginning on the Monday of my birthday. Not only was I thrilled with the immediate independence I had by turning 12 years old away from my parents, but I was so happy with the surprise party my counselor, roommates, and new friends of 24 hours had thrown me! I still remember the moment when they locked me in my room to set up the common room with balloons.

I spent one more birthday at that camp before attending a different camp a year later: one where I would soon spend 2 full years of my life. My two summers here were perhaps the most fun I had because I made 3 really close friends who remain pen-pals to this day. For my birthday during both summers they completely surprised me by cleaning and decorating my room with streamers and confetti. Also, the year I turned 14 I got a later curfew for “coming of age” and so we went to get ice cream late (8pm?) just because we could. Another summer I remember staying up until midnight on the 30th with my roommates just so they could sing to me when it officially turned 12:01am on my birthday.

More importantly, during these years (as well as all birthdays since) I was always dancing. We would have a regular full day of classes and rehearsals at whatever camp I was at, and most of the time I was too shy or quiet to tell the teachers of my birthday. I would treat these ballet days like any other day of work, and only celebrate later back at the dorms. Even though other dancers had their birthdays during the intensive and got to wear special leotards or have the class sing to them, I always seemed to remain quiet during ballet. Even my birthday couldn’t disrupt the work.

Unfortunately (or, maybe fortunately?) this remains true years later, today, on my 19th birthday. I spent the day working at ballet, even though I did not attend an intensive (for the first time in 13 yrs) this year. Though the little kids at the ballet camp I’m working at sang “Happy Birthday” 3 times and I received several homemade presents and cards, it was still work. Yesterday in open class they sang to me as well, an unexpected surprise. But later this afternoon, for reasons unknown even to me, I decided to take the open ballet class that I don‘t particularly enjoy anymore. Maybe I felt it was tradition that I dance on my birthday, or maybe I just felt like I shouldn’t take a day off.

Either way, it was work. Dancing, and being in the dance world in general, has become work rather than play - even on a birthday. It’s interesting to see that on a day of celebration I still feel the annoyances, frustrations, and pains of ballet - and at the same time, there’s nothing better I can imagine doing on my birthday than dancing. It is the element that has remained a constant throughout the years.

a birthday before the ballet days